Till The Sun Dies
by Once-Upon-a-Slash-Story
Summary: He ignored the bruises, the pain and the nightmares. Because that's all they were. A nightmare. One...Long...Painful...Nightmare...


**A/N:** **I don't own the song or the characters.**

 **I didn't really say which TMNT 'verse it's from, so you can decide. ^_^**  
 **Just something I thought up while listening to music. The song is "Little Do You Know" by Alex and** **Sierra**.

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 ** _Till The Sun Dies_**

The pain was overbearing, twisting his stomach in knots as he struggled not to cry out loud. His brothers were sleeping soundly only feet away from him, their softer breathing filling the room while he forced his month shut, burying his face into his pillow. Tears soaked his scales, dripping onto the pillow and absorbing into the fabric.

 _ **~Little Do You Know...How I'm breaking while you fall asleep...Little do you know...I'm still haunted by the memories~**_

He ignored the bruises, the pain and the nightmares. Because that's all they were. A nightmare. One...Long...Painful...Nightmare...  
He stopped caring about stuff like he use to. Training, meditating. He can't close his eyes without hearing those men, laughing and taunting him.  
Soft sobs slipped through his lips as he bit down on his hand. _Why did they have to sleep in the living room tonight?! Oh...Right...The heating in their rooms stopped working...Sensei didn't want any of them getting sick so they get to sleep in here..._  
Leo sat up, rubbing his eyes harshly until they stung, roughly kicking the blankets away from him as he curled up facing the sleeping turtles. His body shook violently as he twitched away from the ghostly hands caressing his flesh.  
"L-Leo?" His head snapped open, not remembering closing them, meeting the worried sky blue eyes of his baby brother. "Why are y-ya still up?"  
"Ju-just go back t-to sleep, M-Mikey..." He cursed himself as he stuttered, his voice cracking around the lump in his throat. Sighing lightly when the body across from him tensed.  
"What's wrong? A-Are...Are you...crying?"  
"Just go to sleep, okay?" He snapped, crossing his arms protectively in front of his chipped plastron, picking aimlessly at the jagged edges.  
"No, I wanna know what's wrong..."  
He shouldn't have gone out alone, he knew that now. It didn't have to be real.  
"No-nothing's w-wrong just please...P-please just leave me a-alone..." He didn't want to be alone, not really. But he couldn't cry in front of him, of course, his emotions were hay wire as he shoved his knuckled into his mouth, biting down again as he tried to calm himself down.  
"Leo! Stop," He whimpered lightly his teeth clashed together when his hand was removed. "What's wrong!?"  
"N-nothin'...I-I just don-don't wanna talk t-to anyone...I'm okay, Mikey...Just...Just had a bad day,"  
"A-Are ya sure?" He nodded, smiling lightly at Mikey.  
"Yea,"

 _ **~Little do you know...I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece...Little do you know...I need a little more time~**_

He watched Mikey curl up under his blanket, sighing lightly.  
 _'You've gotta get over this...'_  
He wanted to snuggle into the hothead's arms again, like almost every night. But he couldn't...They had had a bad fight before Leo ran out...He shouldn't have run out...He didn't blame Raphael for what happened...And he was ready to make up with him, but...He couldn't...He couldn't look in those flaming emerald eyes and tell him everything was alright.  
He leaned his head against the wall, letting his eyes close as he forced the memories away.

 _ **~Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside...I've been holding back~**_

He couldn't tell Raphael about what happened..It would worry him...Possible...O-Or he might think Leo was disgusting...He couldn't take that...It hurt _just_ thinking about...He could take it if Raph left...O-or... _B-blamed_ him for it...

 _ **~For the fear that you might change your mind...I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight~**_

He wanted to talk to the turtle, to feel safe...But, that didn't seem to be what his body wanted. He would tell him...Maybe not tonight, tomorrow or maybe not even a week from now...But, he would...At some point...He would tell him...

 _ **~Little do you know...I need a little more time~**_

Fearless had been actin' weird fer over two weeks now, flinching every time I touch 'im, jumpin' at loud noises...Caught 'im cryin' in our bedroom few nights ago...Well... _His_ bedroom...I've been sleepin' on tha' couch...He freaked out after the heating got fixed...I didn't want ta freak 'im out anymore...  
"R-Raph...C-Can..Can I..Ta-talk to you?" Raph looked up at Leo, who was standing nervously in the bedroom doorway.  
This was it...Fearless was gonna tell me this was a mistake...Our relationship...He just didn' know how ta tell me...That's why he's been ignorin' me...  
"Yea, 'o course..." He said softly, nervousness stabbing his stomach.  
Leo avoided his eyes as he stayed put, glancing at the familiar floor. He'd stood here so many times...So many _good_ times...He sighed, digging his teeth into his lip as he closed the door behind him.  
"I-I...I'm sorry...F-for the way...I've been acting..."

 _ **~I'll wait, I'll wait~**_

"I just...Y-You know...When I r-ran out...The other day a-after our fight?" He asked slowly, not turning around to face Raph. He ran a finger over the cracked wood on the door as he waited for an answer.  
"Yea,"  
"W-Well..I wasn't...I wasn't paying attention...When I ran out...I forgot my weapons...A-And...I...I wasn't f-focusing on what was going on...A-And...There were so many of them...I-I just..."  
Raph tensed at the mention of humans, wanting so badly to get up and comfort the boy, but he knew he should let him talk.  
"It didn't last more than a minute...There was too many...A-And I couldn't hold up against them...A few seconds later I was on the ground with three of 'em holding me down...I-I thought they w-were just going to kill me...B-But they didn't...O-One of them...That was holding m-me down...He, he said something...To the leader guy...A-And ...I couldn't understand them...I-I just...I tried to g-get away...I really did! B-but...They wouldn't let go...There was so many hands...Everywhere...They wouldn't stop t-touching me..." Leo slid down onto his knees, his body shaking. "I-I think I kicked one of them...Maybe...They got mad...I-I couldn't..I couldn't move...They were holding me down...So many of them...There w-was so much pain..." He rested his forehead against the cold wood. "I ca-can still feel them...Inside me..."

 _ **~I love you like you've never felt the pain, I'll wait...I promise you don't have to be afraid, I'll wait~**_

Raph gasped quietly, reaching an arm out, but freezing just above his shoulder. "Oh, baby..."  
"I-I understand...I-if.." Leo swallowed painfully, clutching his plastron painfully. "You...You don't...Want to b-be with me...Anymore..." Raph opened his mouth to say something, but Leo cut him off. "I'll understand...I-I just...Before y-you say anything...These past few months...Being with you...It's been the best four months of my life...B-but I completely u-understand...If yo-"  
"Shut up, baby," Raph wrapped his arms around him, pressing his plastron again Leo's shell, kissing his cheek lightly. "I ain't leavin' ya, not now and not ever. It wasn't yer fault, it'll never be _yer_ fault..."  
"R-Ra-Raph?"  
"Hm?"  
"I wanna snuggle now..." He heard the male behind him chuckle. "But I don't wanna get up," A pair of arms wrapped around his thighs, picking him up off the ground. "Eep!" He was placed gently on the bed, snuggling into Raph's plastron when he laid down. "I love you, Raph..."

 _ **~The love you see right here stays so lay your head on me~**_

"Go ta sleep, Fearless,"  
"Mmm,"  
He knew throughout the night Leo rarely slept, just snuggled deeper into the hothead's bicep.

 _ **~Little do you know...I know you're hurt while I'm sound asleep...Little do you know~**_

This whole thing was his fault...If he hadn't fought with Leo that day, this wouldn't have happened. Guilt was always there, ripping at his stomach. It'd been almost a week since Leo had told him what happened...They hadn't told anyone, but Leo was getting better. Slowly, but surely. But Leo could tell Raph was blaming himself...It hurt...Because it wasn't the turtle's fault...It was his...But Raph didn't agree with that.  
Raph sighed as he stared down at the sleeping turtle on his lap, rubbing his cheekbone softly with his thumb.

 _ **~All my mistakes are slowly drowning me...Little do you know...I'm trying to make it better piece by piece~**_

There was so many nights were neither slept due to nightmares. Leo had panic attacks, normally at night. They could tell their family was noticing the change in them, but Leo refused to tell them. Raph wanted to get their help, but he respected the wishes on the turtle. He held him every night, during the nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks. Slowly Leo's flinching got less extreme, he didn't jump at every noise. He was slowly getting better.

 _ **~Little do you know...I, I love you till the sun dies~**_

Leo's smile returned in the second month, his panic attacks lessened to no more than two every week by the third month. He was able to have, romantic, physical contact in the middle of the second month without freaking out, but nothing more than a lighter makeout session.

 _ **~I'll wait, just wait...I love you like I've never felt the pain, just wait~**_

He smiled down at Raph, pulling back reluctantly. He could feel the hands on his waist twitch. He kissed him again, rubbing their lower plastron's together.  
"Mmm, b-baby...Y-Ya gotta stop," He ignored Raph's weak protest, grinding down on him.  
"R-Raph...I want to...P-please."  
"I-I...Don't tell 'e that, I won't hold back if ya say somethin' like that."  
"Please, Raphie..."  
Raph's grip tightened on his waist, sliding down onto his hips. He shoved himself up so Leo was straddling his lap, but he was sitting up. He licked hungrily at the leaf green collarbone, sucking on the bone. He could feel the tightening in his plastron as he bucked his hips forwards.  
"R-Raphie...I-I want...N-No I n-need you t-to replace t-their hands...E-Everything...P-Please," Leo moaned, exposing his neck more.  
"Don't worry, baby, I'mma take care of ya," Raph kissed him gently.

 _ **~I love you like I've never been afraid, just wait...Our love we see right here stays so lay your head on me~**_

Leo giggled lightly as Raph pulled him against his plastron.  
"Hey, Raph?"  
"Hm?"  
"T-That...That was nice..." Raph chuckled lightly at him. "Well...I mean! Like not in a bad way nice...Like...It wasn't good...No! I-it was! It was great! I mean..." He blushed up at Raph, bit his lip.  
"It was great for me too, baby..." He kissed Leo's cheek lightly, feeling the boy nuzzled into his neck.  
"R-Raph...Thank you...For everything."

 _ **~ I'll wait, I'll wait**_  
 _ **I love you like you've never felt the pain, I'll wait**_  
 _ **I promise you don't have to be afraid, I'll wait**_  
 _ **The love you see right here stays so lay your head on me**_  
 _ **Lay your head on me**_  
 _ **So lay your head on me**_  
 _ **'Cause little do you know**_  
 _ **I love you till the sun dies ~**_

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 **A/N: I hope ya'll liked it! :)) I'll be updating "The Promises We Kept" as soon as possible, but I didn't feel like writing it tonight.**


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